Dear Zooey Deschanel,Why you gotta be like that? So quirky? So stylish? So adorbs? It's just not right. I spent the minutes between 7:22 and 8:06 attempting to curl my hair this morning because you and your fine locks have given me unreasonable hope that one's tresses can actually do what it is yours do on an average day. Well, I've got news for you, missy: they can NOT. But if you want to come over here and teach me how, that will be fine, cuz I think you're totes awesome and I'd love to meet you and be best friends, especially since you referenced both Prancer and Newsies in "The New Girl" last week. So. It's been real, girl.
Love,
Me
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